It is Dean's will
by Lyta McDonald
Summary: Destiel/ (First time writing something like this in a while, will continue if I get a lot of positive feedback. If continued I will include Destiel love making if you catch my drift ;)


Hi.

My name is Dean Winchester. And I've fallen in love with an Angel of the Lord.

I'm not too clear on how it all happened. Maybe I fell in love with saving Sam, or maybe there's just something about him that makes me think he's irresistable. I don't even know how I could even fall for somebody who worshiped God when my ass was hauled out of hell itself. I had tasted the sinners life and I was under the impression that meant I was going to hell either way, that the sinner's life would repel anything holy from coming into contact with me. So how the hell could an angel appear so appealing to me? I don't even want to tell Sammy because I feel like my own mind is tearing itself apart, I don't have anyone to talk to about this except for him and either way I don't know how he feels about me. For all I know I was just some pitiful human that didn't know how to survive without his little brother. Sammy makes me feel weak. He makes me feel weak because he's the only one that can make me feel vulnerable and he honestly shouldn't even be alive. I was told I had to let him die at the sick camp for those psychic kids, but I couldn't do it. What was I supposed to do?I hate him but I love him.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do about these feelings in the first place. Should I ignore them or tell him how I really feel and risk making a fool out of myself in front of God and everybody. (Literally.) He just seems so perfect to me, in every way.

"Dean." I turned around and saw Castiel there. Perfect timing. I started shaking, my heart rate picked up and I couldn't control my breathing. "Is there something you'd like to tell me, Dean?" Lovely.

"Look, Cas. You might want to sit down for this." We sat down on my bed and he looked concerned and every instinct in my body wanted to just hold him. I had to resist everything to not burst out and tell him I love him in every way.

"I'm not here to judge you. You can tell me anything, you know that. I've watched over you for some time now and I'll eventually figure it out."

"I know and that's what scares me the most." I replied shaken. I was genuinely scared that he'd leave and God would send me right back downstairs for doing this. "I...I think I may have...you know, fallen in love."

He laughed, "Dean, that's nothing to be scared of. With who?" All I had to do was just look up at him and look back down. This was as vulnerable as it gets with me. Not even Sam made me feel like this when he was in trouble. "Oh, Dean...I don't know how to react."

"I know, it's stupid and I'm stupid. I probably shouldn't have even said anything. I feel like my mind is tearing itself up because of this. I don't know how to feel or what to think. What to think of myself, I just don't know anymore. I'm probably going insane aren't I? I mean who the hell falls in love with an angel for crying out loud."

"Dean, stop."

"Wha-" He came in close to me and forced to me lay down on my back and he was on top of me.

"No one is judging you for your decision. You are entitled to your own feelings. Everyone is. All the religious preachings about how God hates gays, is all a lie. I mean how could he hate them when one of his sons walks among them?" And then he kissed me. He gave me a long and passionate kiss and I have to admit I loved it. I didn't want him to stop. His kiss felt like an eternity, an eternity I would mind living through. It was pure and wonderful. I wrapped my arms around him and held him tight, I didn't want to let go. I was so happy it almost drove me to tears that it would have to end eventually.

"Cas, I don't...I don't know what to say. I never thought-"

"Shh. Relax. Don't work yourself up about it. Everything's fine. It's been on my mind for a while about how perfect you are, Dean. I didn't want to say anything either, but I came here today because I knew you felt the same as I. When I asked if you had anything to say to me, I knew. I just wanted to hear you say it." He said with a large smile. I got lost in his eyes after he said that. I couldn't resist just looking at him. Everything about today was euphoric, and I was floating on cloud 9. I felt better than I ever have in my entire life.

"Do you know how good it makes me feel that you feel the same way, Cas? I feel high when I'm around you, even though sometimes you do a hell of a job pissing me off sometimes," We both managed a laugh, "but it's just something about you. Besides the fact that you're an angel and everyone should love you as much as I do." There was a long moment of silence of us staring at each other longingly getting lost in each others eyes and just appreciating the fact that we were here together aand everything was going to be fine.

And almost in unison we screamed, "NO ONE TELLS SAM UNTIL WE'RE READY."


End file.
